The Friday Spitter
October 21st, 2011 | by Zachary Smith |It’s a tough call to say which has been the biggest event in Manchester this week: the Stone Roses reforming or the announcement that the derby has been officially upgraded from ‘No love lost’ to ‘Maybe as big as United-Liverpool’. The former caused chaos among the city’s thirty-something population on Friday morning as tickets went on sale for the opening dates of the seminal band’s forthcoming world tour, which starts where any world tour should start: in a lovely British park that Mancunians only ever think to visit when you fill it with beer tents and burger vans.Meanwhile, the latter will no doubt provide some comfort to all of those relatively-innocent souls who have been bludgeoned to within an inch of their lives on derby day over the past few decades. How reassuring to know that the supposedly mindless violence which has littered the history of this occasion in the pubs around Deansgate and Piccadilly down the years wasn’t pointless after all.Naturally, the game at Old Trafford on Sunday is now being billed as the biggest clash since the battle of Peterloo with City and United first and second (in that order!) but, for some reason, we can’t seem to escape an over-riding sense of deja vu.November 1991, in fact. Before records began. City and United were first and second in the old frst division (not necessarily in that order) when they locked horns in a gargantuan encounter at Maine Road. The hype beforehand was unprecedented (five pages in the Evening News, with highlights on Granada the following day) but the game itself was, for want of a better word, shite. Indeed, the only incident that anyone can recall was a glorious opportunity that fell to Adrian Heath in the final minute. The pint-sized former Everton striker had long been a target for the Kippax boo-boys but this was his best game in a sky blue shirt by some distance. And when his big chance to write himself into City folklore arrived on the stroke of full-time, he leant back and skied his effort over the North Stand crossbar. The knobhead.All of which leads us to believe that Sunday’s match will be just as much of an anti-climax, so we’ll kick-off this weekend’s Spitter with a bet on no goalscorer at 12/1.However, the first leg of our weekend treble will once again take place down the East Lancs where Norwich present any number of lively opportunities against Liverpool in the Saturday evening kick-off at Anfield.Of course, at this point it’s sorely tempting to throw in a few more funnies about those loveable Scousers but having exhuasted all of my best lines in last week’s Spitter, I’m probably best advised to move on.Save to say, arson seems to be a favoured pastime on Merseyside, so the locals will no doubt appreciate the fact that the Canaries have started their last few matches like a house on fire.Paul Lambert’s men have scored five first-half goals in their last four matches (conceding only one) and the figure would have been even more impressive had they not fluffed their lines early doors at Old Trafford three weeks ago.Most of the value about the visitors on this game seems to be provided by Bet365 who, one can only presume, wish to reinforce their association with the colours.They go 15/4 about Norwich to score first and 9/1 about Norwich to be winning at half-time but, given that the purpose of this column is to land a life-changing sum from a modest stake, it’s the 28/1 about Anthony Pilkington to score the first goal that gets the nod of approval.The former Huddersfield winger has been a real ‘Johnny on the spot’ in recent weeks, bagging the opener in games against Bolton and Swansea, so I’ll forgive him his misdemeanours against United, providing he does the business here.Finally, let’s head to Spain for the icing on the cake by robbing one of Sam Dymond’s tips in his round-up of Saturday’s European action, namely the 22/1 available on Malaga to beat Real Madrid 1-0 at La Rosaleda.Having been in attendance to witness the Merengues deflated by the mighty Levante in my neck of the woods a month ago, this is a correct score selection that has instant appeal.It would also be quite lovely to spend a Saturday night watching one of the good guys of the Spanish game, Manuel Pellegrini, get one over his former club and, in particular, the Madrid press who have since besmirched the reputation of the manager who led the club’s to its highest ever points total two years ago.Incidentally, Pellegrini always reminds me of a lunatic Greek businessman who used to come in and play dice back in the day when I worked as a croupier at a Salford casino.In fact, I once remember him copping over forty grand and me getting the blame for it, so how fitting it would be if his look-alike could play some part in returning the favour this weekend. If this bet comes in, it pays £43,355. How ironic is that?Recommended bet:£5 treble on Anthony Pilkington to score first against Liverpool, Malaga to beat Real Madrid 1-0 and no goalscorer in the Manchester derby at 8,670/1 (Bet365)
